The Bluffer’s Guide to Casta

Are you a regular visitor to our site but have never got round to listening to one of our episodes? Do you download us from iTunes, see the forty five minute plus duration and think to yourself “what ARE they doing in that time”? Or have we been recommended to you by someone, friend or enemy, and you want to know just what you might be about to let yourself in for?

Well you’ve come to the right place friend because here, in all its glory, is the Official Guide to Casta La Vista!
Over the next 1,018 words we’ll talk you through exactly what goes on in each episode of Casta La Vista, there or thereabouts, so that you can listen in knowing exactly where we should be going, and wondering just how long it’s going to take us to get there.

Here we go;

INTRO; Welcome to our show! Thanks for stopping by. We’ll introduce ourselves and dish out a funky CASTA-fied title for each episode around about now, and at the same time DEDICATE and ANTI-DEDICATE our offering to the people, parties and places in the world of cinema that we think need a cap doffed and an ultimate wedgie, respectively. When we get notable emails from you sexy listeners we’ll probably talk about those here too. Then it’s down to business…

THE NEWS; This is the bit where we try to sound like we’ve got our ears to the ground and give you up to date info on the films and issues that are happening RIGHT NOW and that we definitely haven’t learnt about from other movie websites. We’ll keep it to the two or three main issues that we’ve learnt about between episodes, mostly just giving you our perspective on what has been reported and hopefully encouraging you to think about the issues yourself. We’ll also mention any cool new trailers or casting rumours so you’re sure to be able to impress your friends.

REVIEWS; The brass tacks of Casta La Vista. Chris and Chris. Mano et Mano. One opinion against the other (although sometimes very rarely we do agree as well). This is the main part of the show, where the two of us talk through the biggest movies we’ve seen recently and let you know if you should bother seeing them or not, and most importantly why you should trust us! We’ll try to keep it to two main films, maybe three if it’s been a busy fortnight, or maybe five plus if we’ve been away for a while (it does happen). Once we’re all done here, it’s time for SUBJECTED…

SUBJECTED; SUBJECTED is Casta La Vista’s way of making sure we give you reviews of every type of film imaginable, and to keep us on our toes. We know that our main reviews are typically going to be the big Hollywood blockbusters that everyone is talking about, so with SUBJECTED Chris and I take it in turns to pick a film each episode for the other one to see before we next record and give an opinion on (sometimes we’ll both see the film so that we can give a second opinion). It might be a small foreign or domestic film only showing at independent cinemas; it might be the OTHER action film released that week that we probably wouldn’t review otherwise; or it might be that really crappy looking Romantic Comedy that we’re Subjecting the other one to see purely because we’re feeling mean. Either way, due to the laws decreed by the God(s) of Casta, once it is SUBJECTED, it MUST BE SEEN!!!!

THE REST OF THE THINGS WE HAVE TO DO BEFORE WE CAN FINISH THE SHOW™; Once the reviews are all done with it’s time for us to move on to wrapping everything up for another week. But before we can do that, we need to take care of a few minor issues…

DVD REVIEWS; Chris or Chris will quickly rattle off a few choice DVDs that are either recently released or about to be released and give quick 5ish second reviews on whether or not they’re worth buying, renting or avoiding.

CASTAMIND (AKA; Chris M’s favourite bit of the show); What is life without a little bit of competition eh? Here at Casta La Vista we think you can never know too much and so CASTAMIND is our way of keeping one another and you, the listener, on our toes or at the very least teaching us all something that we didn’t already know and can use in future pub quizzes. Each episode we will take it in turns to quiz one another on a film-related topic that was chosen by the contestant on the previous episode; this could be a single film, a series of films, a particular director or star, anything we can imagine. The Quizmaster (Chris) will then ask the contestant (Chris) three questions on that subject with the hope of stumping them and making them look silly. To succeed is three out of three. to fail is anything less. Casta La Vista also invites its listeners to submit questions of their own for each episode, so if you have ideas for an upcoming topic/ episode simply email them in to mail@castalavista.com and put CASTAMIND in the subject line, so we know to only let the quizmaster read them for that particular quiz.

TOODLE PIP! And with the end of CASTAMIND, comes the end of another episode of Casta La Vista. We’ll say our tearful goodbyes, remind of anything coming up that you might want to keep an eye out for, and Chris will tack something on at the end from the unedited record where one of us said something stupid. Classic comedy, every time!

By this point you’ll have been listening and laughing for around about forty five minutes and you may need a drink or a bit of sit down. But once you’re feeling refreshed why not get involved by coming back to the site and leaving a comment or rating for the episode you’ve just listened to? Or you can visit our Facebook page and leave comments there, or even start a discussion thread. You can email us at mail@castalavista.com with any thoughts, comments or ideas you have for the show and you can even follow us on twitter, by searching CastaLaVista. We’d love to hear from you.

You'll be as happy as this fine specimen of a man when you're inducted into our amazing Casta Club!

Make sure to check the site regularly too because we’re always writing new blogs or reviews, and even uploading guest reviews both written and audio from our best listeners. Any content you do provide does not go unrewarded either as Casta La Vista has its very own CASTACLUB for any listeners who are showing a particularly strong commitment to what we do. We appreciate all your support and show that appreciation by sending you awesome badges and a certificate!

So there you have it. Casta La Vista, everything you ever needed to know, but were afraid to ask!

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2 Responses to The Bluffer’s Guide to Casta

  1. Harrison Schorder says:

    Love your site man keep up the good work

  2. D Jizzle says:

    remember when i ruined separation?

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